I seem to be struggling lately with connecting to my artwork. This morning, the Universe sent me a message. I was told, "Don't ever lose the spark that makes you, you." This seems to be what I have been stressing over. It seems like that creative genius that dwells within all of us as been asleep... or maybe just on vacation. One thing is for certain, mine has not been around to support me or give me insight. Instead, negativity has filled my brain with self doubt. Today as a made my way into the studio, I felt inspired for the first time in weeks. With three paintings in progress I started a forth. So far I am liking it even though it is not quite done... one step at a time. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.
Everyday I remind myself how truly blessed I am and give thanks. I am extremely grateful for everyone who has supported me though the years. I am thankful to everyone who has attended one of my gallery shows. I am thankful for all the kind words and comments that so encourage me. I am always grateful for people who support me by buying my art. When people purchase my work it is not just sustaining me financially, but it is also encouraging to my heart as an artist. Knowing that someone emotionally connects to a piece of artwork is something truly motivating for me. So thank you to all my supporters, whether it has been in the past, present and hopefully into future. You have all been a vital part of my creative journey. Thank you... thank you... thank you all.
Over the past week I’ve taken some time to reflect over my life as an artist and in my process of creating art. Sometimes I become so infatuated with the vision of my results that I forget to enjoy the process. Sometimes I struggle madly with that process. I am finding I need to let go of my self doubt and just enjoy the ride, wherever that may take me. I’m learning to, or at least focusing on, the ability to eliminate a false pressure I put on myself to complete paintings quickly. Instead, I am taking the time to learn and express my voice through my paintings.
Nevertheless, I know, I often feel compelled to push through paintings. I have never considered myself a fast painter, but a dedicated one. I do know though that once I am finished with a study or still life or painting exercise of some sort, I just want to be done. It is very difficult to revisit something I know needs more time or effort, but sometimes the magic just feels like it has escaped me and I search for something new to paint or explore.
But as the neglected or rejected paintings pile up around me, I just can’t help but to question my sanity. Why am I creating this extra anxiety? I think it all comes down to FEAR. I had a psychologist friend who once told me all fear is: “false energy appearing real.” I sure miss Connie and all her words of wisdom.
I’ve been trying to detect when this so called anxiety starts to creep into psyche, bound to unleash this monster named fear, and it frequently seems to happen when life challenges me the most. And so some days it is a struggle to paint. And some days it all just seems like a silly, crazy mind… spinning around in circles…. looking for the light. And maybe that is why it is called the creative process.
As I muse through my thoughts for today, I am very grateful for all I have and all I have accomplished. Being in lockdown, gives me lots of time to hang out in my studio and paint. I have challenged myself to paint at least 2 paintings a week. I have also been varnishing finished paintings and getting them ready for framing. I am truly very happy to be an "Artist in Residency".
I also want to thank my teacher, coach and mentor, Stefan Baumann who has inspired me to be the best I can be. With the gallery closed and classes postphoned, I have been enjoying his weekly coaching seessions. It is with his guidence and support that I have deleved into the world of social media. I have created a new email accoount. email@example.com and now have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. As I become more profiecient in these medias, I invite you to follow me there.
Along with coaching, I have had the privilege to meet other coaching painters through "zoom". Together we share friendships, expertise and encourgement as we paint together virtually. It is great fun and very exciting to be part of this glogal community of artists.
It is definitely and new world out there and as we are all required to stay home, it gives me plenty of time to paint and grow my busyness as an artist. I am also finding lots of on-line activities. Here is a link that I found very interesting from the Global health Institute https://ghi.wisc.edu/covid-19/art-and-the-coronavirus/
I am headed out this weekend for more fun plein aire painting with Stefan Baumann and one of his fabulous workshops... Lets hope we are waylaid by rain!
Fire sales.... it is with mixed emotion that I sold two paintings to families that lost their homes in the Carr Fire.
"On the Wild Side" and "Boulder Creek" were both falls from the Whiskeytown area that was devastated in the fire. I am happy that their new owners can have loving memories of our beautiful wilderness. With time, I am sure Mother Nature will heal the landscape.
North Valley Art League Small Painting Show 2nd place winner.
Early Redwood's Morning. This was a piece done pleinaire just outside of Trinidad. We did an early morning walk and I knew has the light crept through the Redwoods, I just had to paint it.
North Valley Art League Small Painting Show 2019
Winter's Dream won 1st place. This painting was created from my imagination to represent my feeling of winter. Thankfully the judge, Malcolm Wilson agreed.
My Life...my art...and more